I’M NOT
BUYING IT
The passion to become a teacher started, for me, in early childhood. My
playhouse consisted of a make-believe classroom where I taught make-believe
students the things I learned in school. I graduated from high school, worked
my way through college, and obtained the necessary degree to pursue a teaching
profession.
In early adolescence, I realized I had what society labeled as a
problem. According to the voices from the pulpits of Southern Baptist churches,
a gay man would never be allowed to teach in an American public school. So I turned to religion to solve my problem.
Religious instructors said if I prayed long enough, and if my faith was strong
enough, God would transform me into a straight man, because it was not God’s
will for anyone to be gay. After putting
up a personal fight and spending several years in dedicated studies of the
Bible, it became evident that the transformation was not going to occur.
Nevertheless, I spent years struggling with a guilt complex. Finally, I came to
a conclusion: I did not fail religion—religion failed me.
The Christian religion has failed thousands of American citizens. According to statistics, at least one-tenth
of the population is born with a homosexual orientation. Therefore, it is a
disgrace for a sick society to bring such severe condemnation upon this group
that many will commit suicide. Each year hundreds of America’s smartest
students take their own lives because they are gay.
I taught in America ’s
public schools for thirty-two years fearing that at any time I could be fired
if it was discovered that I was gay. In
order to secure a stable financial future I had to develop a sideline
profession in which no one had the authority to fire me. My solution was to own
a business. After years of hard work, I retired from teaching and sold the
business.
The moment of change in my life came when I took the opportunity to
travel. It was necessary to experience
how other people worship and to learn how other societies deal with the
so-called problem of homosexuality. So I traveled. I ended up in Southeast Asia where
alternative lifestyles are fully accepted. Every day I meet people who practice
universal love and have no religious restraints on who they can love. I have learned that restrictions on love
diminish happiness.
If I’m going to hell
because I want to experience true love or because I want to live as a first
class citizen, then hell, here I come. If I want my life to mean more than the
Southern Bible Belt allows, the evils that befall that choice rest on my
shoulders. You can preach all you want about the sins of a gay lifestyle, but I
believe they are less significant than the evils of a pulpit that brainwashes
people. They are taught that it is all right to hate and such hate is even
approved in the eyes of God. I’m not
buying it.