PART ONE --- THIS IS MY LIFE

PART ONE --- THIS IS MY LIFE

A gay Louisiana teenager in the heart of the Bible Belt presented an outside appearance of stability but inside was a disturbed and confused young boy. As most young LGBTQ individuals, I gave being gay one big fight. I tried everything known to mankind to change my sexuality, but it all failed. At first, I tried to convince myself that I was not gay, that it was just a period in life that every boy goes through, and that it would change with time. I tried relationships with the opposite sex, but they all proved to be unsuccessful. 

Frustrated and bewildered, my last resort was religion!  After four years of college, I enrolled in a seminary and took advanced studies in the Bible. Religion was very serious because I believed if I followed the straight and narrow and if I prayed enough, one day God would touch me with his magical wand and change me into a straight man. But for me that did not happen!

After years at the seminary, I went back to the university and earned a degree in English and Social Studies Education. At the beginning of my teaching career I was given a job teaching English in an all black high school. It was a time when students taught the teacher more than the teacher taught the students. The most beneficial factor in preparing for a diverse society came at the hands of black students.  My experiences with African American students provided the framework for success in an integrated public school system.

My job teaching school was interesting and rewarding. During those years many students, both black and white, came to me with sexual problems because there was no place else to go.  Many of these were very troubled students with sexual desires they did not understand. From my own experiences, I could have helped these students much more than I did, but for 32 years I lived in fear of being fired if my sexuality was exposed.  As I look back, I should have said the heck with the job and provided those students with the counseling they really needed. It is a shame that the dynamic of fear prevents many gay teachers from doing more to help students. For me, I live with names and regrets still today of students who took their own lives.

Teenagers are faced with many emotional problems and when sexual orientation is added, it becomes more than they can handle.  Students are not getting the proper help they need, because schools are not equipped to handle teenage sexual problems. Therefore, without proper counseling hundreds of teenagers take their own lives each year. This is a problem that can and should be prevented.

Christianity and Islam religions have made a horror story out of being gay, where there is no horror story! It is an absolute fact that religious teachings are the primary cause of teenage suicides. It is a pathetic situation that so-called Christians go around patting themselves on the back for what they consider to be upholding Biblical teachings. However, there are no Christians who are 100% in accordance with all Biblical teachings. But yet, they cherry pick the doctrines that cause the voluntary deaths of hundreds of teenagers each year.  

Sexual orientation is established at conception and the individual has no choice in the matter. For an uninformed preacher to stand in a pulpit and declare death to all LGBTQ individuals is the most ignorant thing any person can do in a civilized society. In fact, primitive societies practiced better ways in the acceptance of different sexual orientations. America should be a progressive society and the progress of acceptance should be moving at a much faster pace.

However, some progress has been made even though the Trump administration is trying to backtrack. I wish I could say there would never be another homeless teenager or another teenage suicide caused by sexual orientation, but I fear that will not be the case. Even though the road ahead may be better, there is still a long way to go. Too many young people have died for reasons that could have been prevented and too many adults have died in shame.

Moving outside the United States strengthened my gay life, and I am blessed to have the opportunity of living with millions of others who are LGBTQ. They have given me the strength and courage to be proud of the person I am. We are a mixed society of all races and all sexual orientations, and we get along extremely well with each other. I have no desire to live again in a situation where I am treated as a second or third class citizen.