PART FIVE ---- THIS IS MY LIFE

PART FIVE ---- THIS IS MY LIFE

Even though I have received numerous requests to write a detailed description of the things I have witnessed, it is a story I have refused to tell. A detailed description of the things I have seen would be nothing more than a series of pornographic events that would be disgusting to most people.  Even though I have experienced many bizarre things in the world of homosexuality; I have learned to witness many, but participate in a few. I have always wanted my life to be a positive contribution. At the end of life’s journey I would like to say, because I lived, I helped to make the world a better place.  As I approach the twilight of my life, I have doubts that my contributions have achieved that goal.

My childhood was manipulated by a series of Confederate Southern Bible Belt teachings.  I must be honest; I did not have the courage to demolish the social prison that dominated my mindset. Even today, I cannot adequately describe the emotions I faced in accepting homosexuality. However, I do know that Biblical teachings have had a profound influence on my life and in my actions.

I was born with an inquiring mind and that inquiry has lead me into some strange places and to witness some strange events. I have played pool in a lesbian bar where a truck-driver-type female beat the hell out of a straight man with a pool cue for making a pass at the person she called “her lady.”  I have been on the second floor of a gay bar during the Mardi Gras celebration in the French Quarter, New Orleans. I have seen people engaging in sexual acts that involve just about any position known to mankind.  Even though I did not fully understand, I engaged in the thought, this is none of my business. I have learned that simply because I may not agree with certain actions, or I may not choose to participate in certain activities, it does not give me the right to prevent others from participating.

I am an “out of the closet” openly gay male but it is amazing the depth of the mindset concerning homosexuals that is rooted deep in my physic.  For example, I still cringe when I see two men kissing. I know that a kiss is just a kiss and it is an expression of love, but the teachings of the Bible still present an emotion of disgust. Nevertheless, I am capable of turning my head and saying to myself, “it’s none of my business.”  It has taken a while for me to confirm my commitment to “same-sex marriage.” Nevertheless, I respect love and I believe adults should have the right to love the person of their choice.   

There are different beliefs in the manner in which the human body can be publicly displayed. I happen to be one of those individuals who appreciate a beautiful female or a well-developed male body. However, I believe there are certain bodies that should be covered. If the person is an adult, and if the person chooses to display his or her body in full Monty; I choose to watch. In my world it is called entertainment.

I doubt if anyone would disagree with the statement that it takes a variety of foods to satisfy human hunger. The same is true concerning thirst. It is also true concerning the act of sexual gratification. Like it or not; agree or disagree; but there is something engraved in the human brain that says the grass is greener on the other side of sexual gratification, and humans strive for the search. Each year hundreds die in an attempt to achieve the ultimate climax.

For years I taught students that it is impossible to pass legislation that regulates morality. I believe it is no concern of government as to what occurs in the bedroom of two or more consenting adults. The only time government should have a role in the sex act is when under age individuals are involved, and when harm occurs to an unwilling participant. I believe laws will never be able to enforce morality. Government will never be able to place one policeman with each person 24-7. Somewhere down the line individuals must be trusted to discern that which is right from that which is wrong and live accordingly.

In one of my younger years I happen to be standing on a street corner in one of America’s major cities when I observed a person on his hands and knees in the middle of the street headed in my direction. This person had a chain around his neck and behind him, holding the chain was an adult male. The two individuals continued and for some strange reason stopped directly in front of me. The person on his hands and knees was wearing a leather dog muzzle, and had strips of black leather around his body that covered his vital parts; otherwise he was without clothes.  Around his neck was a choke collar that was connected to the chain. The middle-aged man holding the chain was shirtless, and wearing tight, black, leather pants.

At the time I knew nothing about the world of leather, or dominant sexual relations. Even though I was startled I wasn’t speechless. I immediately began asking questions.  The guy with the chain around his neck assured me of two things. First of all, that he was of age, that he was not some underage teenager serving as a slave to an adult master.  Secondly, he was participating in this act of his own free will. The person holding the chain never spoke a word, he just looked at me as if to say, if this was illegal do you think I would be out in the middle of the public showing it off.  As the two headed off down the street, I had to shake my head in near disbelief but remind myself, “This is none of my business, understand it or not; agree or disagree; it takes a variety of individuals to make the world go round.”

PART FOUR ---- THIS IS MY LIFE

PART FOUR ---THIS IS MY LIFE

I want to make this perfectly clear I do not receive any pleasure in destroying the character of others. On the other hand, I receive no pleasure in remaining silent while others attempt to destroy mine. It was only when I began to speak openly concerning the dishonesty of the Donald Trump administration, that a small group of Trump supporters began a character assassination on the messenger. The oldest defense mechanism in history to defend the guilty is to destroy the character of the messenger.

Trump supporters have attempted to destroy my character in an attempt to keep opposing opinions from surfacing. I have been asked by numerous individuals why I have remained silent while other shady characters have used lies in an attempt to silence me.  The time has come that I will answer that question. Here is where I put the shoe on the other foot.

I will state categorically some of the facts that I know to be true concerning individuals who have been involved in attempting to destroy my integrity.  One of these individuals has an arrest record a mile long, yet he has the audacity to try to destroy the character of someone else.  He is a man who has spent a lifetime impregnating young girls, and never providing financial support for any of the children. He is a man who has been arrested for male prostitution in a gay park, but now spends time spreading lies in an attempt to destroy the morality of other gay individuals.

It is true that in an attempt to keep my sexuality in the closet I discovered some very shady characters attempting to extort money from gay men. There were several attempts made to expose my sexuality to the leadership of the teaching profession, if I did not provide certain individuals with large amounts of money. Each time I flatly refused and called their bluff!  Even though it caused many sleepless nights, it worked. I completed my profession with full retirement and a spotless record. 

I would now like to say to those members of my family who have attempted to belittle my status as a respectable human, I am proud to say a different blood flows through my veins.  I do not support racists, rapists, or liars.  Your support of the likes of Donald Trump and “Moscow Mitch” has created a lifetime of differences that I doubt will ever heal.  Don’t you ever expect me to support a political party or the leadership of a political party who voted to deny 500,000 school children one free meal? I was a school teacher for many years, and I have experienced hungry children who depended on the one free meal at school, as their only meal for the day.  Yes, I am PROUD to say a different blood flows through my veins.

Let me continue; your support for the inhumane conditions of children put in cages at the Southern border disgusts me to the lowest pits of my stomach.  Of course, you won’t read this because when narrow minds are confronted with the truth, all they can do is ignore it. You have become a member of a political cult that will be recorded in history as one of the worse things that has happened to America.      

In my lifetime there is no truer example of “birds of a feather flocking together” than the supporters of the most corrupt president in the history of the United States. It is dangerous to allow someone else to think for us. It is hazardous to depend upon others to define truth.  It is a disgrace to be a human and be unable to discern between that which is right from that which is wrong. 

I want to make my position perfectly clear, when I see members of my race confronting people of color with racial slurs and acts of prejudice it widens the gap that separates us. I don’t know exactly what the Bible has to say about this, but I know it is wrong! I am proud to be a Southern gay man who sees beauty in all skin colors. I am grateful that I realize the importance of diversity and am honored to be a part of a diverse universe.  I would like to assure all Christians that hell is no longer my destiny, and it is the strength provided to me by my creator that I am able to fulfill my purpose on earth.