ALL I HAD; I FEARED

 

ALL I HAD; I FEARED 

I was raised in a society that equated homosexuality with the worst of all sins. Naturally, that presented major problems for a homosexual teenager. It was important that I present myself as a normal kid. Therefore, in regards to my homosexuality, I had to, hide it, deny it, reject it, fight it, closet it, condemn it, control it, alter it, and most of all, fear it. Fear became my Cult Leader, because what I feared was fear itself. I feared being made fun of as a teenager. I feared being rejected by my friends. I feared the embarrassment it would bring to my family. As an adult, I feared being fired from the job I loved.  I feared loosing the years I spent in preparation for public school teaching. I feared loosing customers in my retail establishment. I feared being kicked out of my church. All I had; I feared. 

Even though I spent too many years living in the closet, I always knew it was not right for me. However, at the time, my mind-set told me it was the road to least resistance. It is terrible to recall how the lack of courage prevented me from standing up for the homosexual that I am, and for other homosexuals around the world. Nevertheless, in my retirement, I plan to make up for the time lost. 

I will never forget the day when I decided to tear down the walls of the closet, burst open the door of restriction, open the windows of freedom, and shout to the world, “I am a free man.”  No more pretense, no more secrets, no more guilt in sexual expressions, and no more fear in demonstrating love. Freedom is my master and free is what I will always be.  

Now, I wish I could be the Moses of all the oppressed homosexuals in the world, and lead them out of the dark, shadows of the closet and into the bright, sunshine of freedom. However, I understand the social bars that limit freedoms for homosexuals, for I also have encountered being captured in the prison of fear. I can only pray for the day when all homosexuals will have the courage to say to the world, “I am who I am,” and regardless of the consequences, I will live my life as a free person. 

There is not an out-of-the-closet homosexual American who has not experienced prejudice accompanied with discrimination. We have grown accustomed to being called degrading slur words used by a straight society. We have learned to live with fear because we never know what awaits us around the next corner. We never know when a redneck’s baseball bat is going to find a home against our skull. We never know when a fellow employee is going to expose our sexuality in an attempt to get us fired. We never know when someone is going to accuse us of some false sexual activity that will ruin our reputation.  We never know when we are going to return home and find a note on our door that demands we move, because gays are no longer welcome in the housing project or the apartment complex. 

Even though we live with fear, we have allowed fear to become our teacher, and we learn from what we fear the most. Even in fear, the Pope announced equality for all homosexuals. This will go down in history as one of the most important endorsements the world has ever encountered regarding the rights of minorities. 

Although this changes the subject somewhat, this is a required discussion.  It would be well for Amy Coney Barrett to know that homosexuality is not a preference. Ignorance astounds me for it is hard to believe that Republicans are going to appoint a Supreme Court Justice to a lifetime position with such limited knowledge. It is even more surprising that in the 21^st Century how little a so-called educated person knows about homosexuality. If homosexuality was a choice no person in their right mind would choose to be something that carries so many negative characteristics in a heterosexual dominated society. 

Like so many other human characteristics, sexuality is established at conception. It causes one to wonder how any individual could obtain even a four year college degree without acquiring that knowledge. This is further proof that ignorance within governmental officials causes social turbulence. Understanding minorities is required for any government in order to establish peace, and when laws are passed that discriminate social unrest occurs. These are hard lessons that American governmental officials have failed to learn, and as a result, have placed the entire United States, as a nation, in jeopardy.  

In conclusion, of all the fears that existed in my previous life, what I am now, I owe to being homosexual. I have found happiness and I have found love. I am surrounded by good friends and I am enjoying a retirement that at one time I thought was impossible.  What time I have left on this earth I dedicate to being a witness of encouragement to other homosexuals to be proud of whom they are. To a gay, man, women, boy or girl; you are a child of God and God made you the way you are for a purpose. When you fulfill that purpose happiness will flow like a mighty stream and joy will flood like a prodigious river.   

 

STRAIGHT FACED LIARS

 

STRAIGHT FACED LIARS 

I am an eighty-two year old retired American, and I am totally disgusted with Americans who stand flat-footed with a straight face, and lie to protect the LIAR in the White House. Lying has become an acceptable American characteristic during the Donald Trump administration.  Everyday I watch Senators, Congress men and women, preachers, White House staffers, and leaders of the Republican Party, lie to protect the most corrupt individual ever to set foot in the White House. 

Donald Trump has learned nothing about what it means to be a man.  He has always been a spoiled brat, who got his way about everything. Therefore, he has had no reason to learn the characteristics of real manhood. Nothing in the history of the United States has been more damning than what Donald Trump has done to America. Even if America survives Donald Trump, it will take decades to correct the damage he has done to America’s youth. 

American classrooms are experiencing chaotic conditions because America’s youth are confused.  They recognize the hypocrisy in adults and they know their future is being jeopardized.  Children have watched parents become liars in order to remain loyal members of the Republican Party.  Children of liars, will at some point, rebel and their rebellion will destroy family ties.  

A message to members of my family who are Donald Trump supporters; you have been conned! Even though it has been by one of the world’s greatest con-artist, nevertheless, you have been conned. The sooner you face the facts the better off you will be.  If you do not face the truth, you will suffer severe consequences from your off-springs.  You have damaged the future of your children and your grandchildren but yet, it may not be too late to repair the damage. 

Even though millions have already voted the salvation of America’s democracy remains in the hands of the voters. Americans who believe in the democratic process must take nothing for granted and make sure they vote. To purify America’s political system, the Republican Party must be demolished.  And I don’t mean just defeated, I mean completely destroyed from the ground-roots foundation. The party of liars must be removed from America’s political system. If America is going to survive, White Power must be destroyed, and the strong voice of Americans is the only way it can happen absent a Civil War. 

If it occurs ----- and it is yet to be determined ---- that a White Supremacists fool destroyed the greatest nation known to mankind ----- it will be recorded as the biggest mistake in all of world history. 

Of all the evil characteristics portrayed by Donald Trump there is one I have difficulty forgiving. Plus, I have trouble forgiving members of my family and other Donald Trump supporters in continuing to uphold a Commander-In-Chief who has allowed the Russian dictator to place bounties on the heads of American service men and women. He has refused to say one word to challenge the actions of this dictator. I must confess, I have great difficulty in forgiving this and I am prepared to stand before the judgment bar of God and defend my position.

 

HOW MANY LIES CAN A LIAR LIE

 

HOW MANY LIES CAN A LIAR LIE

To members of my family and friends, I beg you to read at least a few of the following statements. There have been dozens of books written about Donald Trump and all of them relate thousands of deceitful ways Trump used to reach the top.  Two of my favorites are TOO MUCH AND NEVER ENOUGH by Mary Trump, and DISLOYAL by Michael Cohen. 

Even though it is hard to believe, credence must be given to Michael Cohen and Mary Trump as they describe in detail the deceits that Donald Trump used to cheat his way to the top. The distortions used to refuse payments to smaller contractors for work completed for the Trump Organization, initiated by Cohen on behalf of Donald Trump, supersedes the imagination of any writer. Donald Trump is the most cold-hearted individual ever to be called a human. The evil mind of Trump surpasses the evil perpetrated by the devil himself. His niece, Mary Trump, explained in her book how the Trump family created the world’s most dangerous man. 

When and if, the truth is ever revealed about Donald Trump, it will shock the world.  History will record Trump as the “king of fools,” but it has stunned the world how the king of fools became the “Cult Leader” of thousands of so-called intelligent people. It is hoped that the king of fools will one day be held accountable and the truth will be exposed; when you cheat your way to the top, the top will cheat on you. 

As Michael Cohen rightfully said, “in essence Donald Trump has no friends. All those enablers are “hangers-on” to benefit themselves, even Vladimir Putin, but loyalty to Trump means the willingness to do things that you know to be wrong and that are harming others.”  Already the rats, who became liars to keep the LIAR in power, are abandoning the sinking ship. In the end Donald Trump will be left friendless, standing character naked, before the bar of justice. 

As to the evangelical preachers who laid hands on Donald Trump, and prayed, Michael Cohen, who was present at the time, records how Donald Trump laughed and called them stupid after they left his office. Evangelicals who have chosen to go to bed with the devil in order to get----- Supreme Court Justices----the repeal of Roe v. Wade------the removal of the Marriage Equality Act ----- and the Affordable Care Act declared unconstitutional --- in the end will have gained nothing but destroyed Christianity. 

Since the year 2015 evangelical churches have lost thousands of members, especially young Americans. Teenagers are smart enough to know that American Christians have turned the “Amen Corner” into “Hate-Men Corners,” and the deceit has openly revealed the hypocrisy.  The preachers who lied to their congregations about Donald Trump need to steal as much money as they can from the “collection plate” because soon they will be unemployed. Americans are becoming smart to this so-called “Prosperity Christianity.”  The only prosperity that has occurred is for the millionaire preachers and billionaire TV evangelists. 

If Americans really want peace they will enforce sever penalties for white policeman who murder African American men. But Republicans are once again setting America back another fifty years by stacking illegal justices on the Supreme Court. To place another justice on the court that will repeal Roe v. Wade is inviting turmoil. White men should have no jurisdiction over the body of women. Once again the Republican Party is initiating chaos in placing another justice on the court that will overturn the Marriage Equality Act. There are thousands of happily married same-sex couples, who are causing no problems, and are productive community citizens. Yet, the government is going to step in and create turmoil. It has never been the responsibility of government to dictate to consenting adults who they can marry. For over two hundred years American government and citizens have not been happy unless they are involved in a war abroad or creating domestic turmoil.   

All the acts of the Republican Party are to initiate more problems for American citizens. It is stupid to believe that happiness can be accomplished during times of disorder. Americans have been born in confusion and will die in confusion. White Americans have been born in bigotry and will die as bigots, never realizing that peace negotiates happiness. Without equal justice there will never be peace. 

However, there is some light at the end of this tunnel. There are many examples of African American Women saving American democracy. Now it is possible that African American Churches may save Christianity.  It is only an act of divinity that the oppressed will save their oppressors.    

How may lies can a liar lie, until the lies of a liar are called lies?

THE FEAR OF LOOSING WHITE POWER

 

THE FEAR OF LOOSING WHITE POWER 

I want to make one thing perfectly clear, I strongly believe in a democracy. My belief is not solely based upon being born in America, but I have studied all forms of governments and with knowledge concluded that democracy is the best form of governing for the people. Democracy respects the civil rights of all people, and as a form of government a democracy does not discriminate. 

American democracy was established on the premise of White Power. It has been an experiment in Representative Democracy. The American version of a democracy by definition has been a complete failure. It has failed because the United States territory was gained by the genocide of the original occupants. It has failed because from the very beginning the policy of discrimination was not written in documents but was practiced in reality. It has failed because the written laws guaranteed freedom of religion, but in reality only the Christian religion was recognized. It failed because it discriminated against women. It failed because no where in an actual definition of a democracy is a form of government that recognizes the legalization of human slavery. 

White Power has built into American culture the supremacy of white men. This policy creates division and conflict. Since the days of the Civil War this culture has been kept under raps until a White Supremacists was elected to lead the Executive Branch of American government.  When a group of citizens, who call themselves a political party, have experienced the freedoms of a democracy, but yet allow themselves to be brainwashed by an authoritarian dictator, little can be said about independent thinking and the manhood of representatives is destroyed.  

When adults are so ignorant not to wear a simple mask to protect themselves and the health of their children, they are too ignorant to be classified as members of the human race.  When parents who say they love their children, but bring them to a rally of hundreds of unmasked people, it is no longer an example of love, but an example of severe political brainwashing. 

The same is true with religious brainwashing. There have been numerous examples of evangelicals who have refused to give their children proper medical attention, and have gone so far as to allow their children to die, from a disease that could have been medically cured. This is not an example of love, but another example of severe religious brainwashing. 

Even though it is sad to say, but the truth is that some members of my family and other so-called friends, will enter the voting booth and pull the lever in support of the Republican Party. In so doing, they know by reelecting Donald Trump they are bringing the end to America’s democratic government. They also know that a vote for Donald Trump is a vote against the future of their children and grandchildren, yet they will cast the vote, because Donald Trump has complete control of their brain. They know the Republican Party is an all white party, and even though they have some minority friends, they are willing to throw them under the bus in support of a dictator. There are many gay individuals who will vote republican knowing that the Republican Party would hang them from the nearest tree if given the opportunity.   

When one man has caused as many evils to a democracy as Moscow Mitch and still hundreds of voters will vote for him, it is a classic example that man may not be capable of governing himself.  Greed and power dominate all governments but a democracy has built in safeguards by the vote of the people, but that is only true when the citizens become informed voters. 

The failure of citizens to recognize that attacks from foreign governments do not always come in the form of military invasions, but in the modern era, can come in the form of brainwashing techniques in social media.  Conspiracy theories have become useful tools by foreign governments to overthrow American democracy, and yet Americans are eating it up hook, line, and sinker. There are many Americans who do not realize that democracies are on decline around the world, and it is apparent that American democracy may join that decline.

Our forefathers knew that freedom of the press is the most powerful tool in preventing power-hungry dictators from gaining control over government. When a governmental official begins an assault on the press, red lights flash danger in all directions.  It is only a fool who will attempt to destroy a government of, for, and by, the people, in order to satisfy his own lust for power. When a fool leads a fool, they fall off the cliff together.  

America’s democracy is under attack because a man of color was elected as the President of the United States. The White Power Party is leading the attack. White men are determined not to loose the governing power of America. Their methods of keeping control are demeaning. It is a sad state of affairs that those methods include lying, cheating, and voter suppression; declaring mail-in votes a fraud, destroying the Christianity within the evangelical church, encouraging evangelical preachers to deliberately mislead parishioners, and by allowing Republican leaders to use other unscrupulous methods to stay in power. 

This is an insult to democracy and to all the men and women who sacrificed their lives to protect individual freedoms, but the disgrace rests upon the shoulders of those who are enabling this to happen.  Hitler had his enablers, and Donald Trump is following close in his footsteps, and the biggest surprise the modern world has experienced is the number of Americans who have sold their souls to the devil to become Trump enablers.    

 

DISCRIMINATION AT CONCEPTION

 

DISCRIMINATION AT CONCEPTION 

I was discriminated against from the day I was born. As a teenager, I lived in a straight neighborhood surrounded by prejudice. I graduated from an all white high school and attended all white churches. I heard more sermons about homosexuality than I did about Jesus Christ, and that is a fact. Because I was not old enough to think for myself, I was brainwashed by the Southern Bible belt and the brainwashing that occurred did not prepare me to be a productive “world citizen.” It was a brainwashing of prejudice in which, as an adult, I rejected. 

I had much to learn and as I have said many times, I learned a great deal about prejudice when I taught in an all black high school.  The lessons I learned were helpful in preparing for a successful teaching career in an integrated school system. 

The main criticism I receive is, if you are such a great believer in America’s democratic government why did you leave? First of all, I think that is a legitimate question. I left America because I was tired of being treated as a third class citizen merely because I was gay. Being rejected by America’s straight society created the desire to look for a better place. I found that place in Thailand, where I am not judged by the character of my sexual orientation, but I am recognized as a productive community citizen. Plus, I am joined by millions of other homosexuals from nations around the world.   

Homosexuals are discriminated against by many major governments and by most major world religions.  Successful sexual expressions determine happiness from grief.  And since homosexuals have struggled for happiness, Thailand has offered a peaceful solution. 

It can no longer be concluded that the United States is the best place on the planet to live.  No matter how much objection comes from this statement, it is still the truth and millions are discovering that truth each day.   

The United States has developed a culture of white supremacy and white supremacy has created a culture of hate. Within the same surroundings American Christianity has developed a culture of hate. In essence, instead of developing a culture of superiority, it has developed a culture of ignorance. Thinking that white skin makes individuals superior to others is a false assumption, the same as thinking that heterosexuality makes one better than homosexuals. Some of the smartest people in the world have been homosexuals. In fact, King James the originator of the Holy Bible was a homosexual. 

Disrespecting others is an act of ignorance that leads to a life of conflict and unhappiness. Intelligent people disregard conflict knowing that happiness is the number one ingredient in the recipe for successful living. I choose to live in a place where all people are respected. I refuse to live in an environment where even members of my family and other so-called friends look down upon me as a third class citizen merely because I am an homosexual. The word homosexual has taken on a meaning of pride because what I see in the actions of the so-called straight communities of the United States makes me even prouder to be a part of the futuristic community of the New World Order.