PART THREE---THIS IS MY LIFE
It
was a playhouse that could only come from the imagination of a preschooler who
had no knowledge of television, telephones, or electricity. It was a kid
playing in the white sands shaded by the sweet gum trees. A make-belief farm
with plenty of land, a nice house, and tooth pick fence posts connected with
white cotton string. Many animals carved
from sweet gum balls and pine cones. A
hand-made toy truck, complete with wooden wheels, that was used for
transportation to the make-belief market. Money grew on trees. A farm that
consisted of well cultivated rows of blades of green grass, that represented
stalks of corn. It was a well designed farm complete with a farm pond and
pieces of a broken mirror used to symbolize water, with hand-carved ducks
swimming all in a row. I lived the life of a Louisiana farm boy who had little knowledge
of the outside world. Even though I lived in a not so fancy house, it was a
home filled with unconditional love.
I
was enchanted by the new world that opened when I was bused off to school. I
wasn’t so sure about this thing called education; but I was sure I wanted more.
Soon I was high school graduate, with a college degree, and a Southern gay man,
who realized at an early age that struggles would not be easy. I was taught
that my sexual orientation was an abomination to God, and that hell was my
destiny. I had no other choice, at the
time, but to believe my fate.
After
several years of teaching high school English, I settled on a job teaching
Civics in a Magnet School in Little
Rock , Arkansas . This
job provided many opportunities, but the main objective was to satisfy my
interest in politics. To make the job more interesting I had the unique experience
to be a teacher in a school where Bill and Hillary Clinton were parents. I
learned to appreciate both of them as dedicated parents with interests that
expanded into all aspects of public education.
The
decision to continue teaching until I qualified for retirement was one of the
best decisions I ever made. When you’ve been a poor man most of your life, and
you finally have enough money to pursue your dreams; life takes on a complete
different meaning. I was never satisfied with my life in the closet, yet I
feared being fired. Nevertheless, I learned to fill the days with so much work
that I had little time to think about sexual desires.
Moving
outside the USA
gave me a second chance on life. I have always had an interest in the people of
the world, and I had doubts concerning the way social problems were approached in
the USA .
I made the decision late in life to visit other countries, and to be more than
just a tourist. It was important to get to know the people, see how they lived,
and if possible how they think. What
really happened in the process, I became endeared to Eastern culture, and it made
a dramatic change in my way of thinking. The policy of acceptance is woven deep
into the Buddhists religion and this was helpful in formulating a favorable opinion
of me and others like me.
Since
I started on this journey and began expressing my opinions in a writer’s blog,
I have been accused of many things. One thing is for certain, I do not hate America . I have
learned that there are limited opportunities for individuals in other
countries, and that knowledge has given me a greater appreciation of America . There
is no doubt that I am where I am today, because I was born in the land of
opportunity.
I
always had opinions concerning elected officials, but none greater than Donald
Trump. I do not believe that evil deeds can be ignored by religion, especially
Christianity. I believe that Christians should endorse honesty and defy liars. I
believe that America
democracy is experiencing a great test, and I hope when this test is over, that
democracy will be declared the undisputed winner.
I read this part with great interest as I too have tried to understand why I have been able to have a life of better opportunity just because an egg and a sperm met in the USA instead of a country such as Thailand. They certainly have less opportunity but in many ways I feel some are much more deserving. In my private thoughts I question, where is this just God I was taught to believe in. I just don't see the justice.
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