PART FIVE ---- THIS IS MY LIFE

PART FIVE ---- THIS IS MY LIFE

Even though I have received numerous requests to write a detailed description of the things I have witnessed, it is a story I have refused to tell. A detailed description of the things I have seen would be nothing more than a series of pornographic events that would be disgusting to most people.  Even though I have experienced many bizarre things in the world of homosexuality; I have learned to witness many, but participate in a few. I have always wanted my life to be a positive contribution. At the end of life’s journey I would like to say, because I lived, I helped to make the world a better place.  As I approach the twilight of my life, I have doubts that my contributions have achieved that goal.

My childhood was manipulated by a series of Confederate Southern Bible Belt teachings.  I must be honest; I did not have the courage to demolish the social prison that dominated my mindset. Even today, I cannot adequately describe the emotions I faced in accepting homosexuality. However, I do know that Biblical teachings have had a profound influence on my life and in my actions.

I was born with an inquiring mind and that inquiry has lead me into some strange places and to witness some strange events. I have played pool in a lesbian bar where a truck-driver-type female beat the hell out of a straight man with a pool cue for making a pass at the person she called “her lady.”  I have been on the second floor of a gay bar during the Mardi Gras celebration in the French Quarter, New Orleans. I have seen people engaging in sexual acts that involve just about any position known to mankind.  Even though I did not fully understand, I engaged in the thought, this is none of my business. I have learned that simply because I may not agree with certain actions, or I may not choose to participate in certain activities, it does not give me the right to prevent others from participating.

I am an “out of the closet” openly gay male but it is amazing the depth of the mindset concerning homosexuals that is rooted deep in my physic.  For example, I still cringe when I see two men kissing. I know that a kiss is just a kiss and it is an expression of love, but the teachings of the Bible still present an emotion of disgust. Nevertheless, I am capable of turning my head and saying to myself, “it’s none of my business.”  It has taken a while for me to confirm my commitment to “same-sex marriage.” Nevertheless, I respect love and I believe adults should have the right to love the person of their choice.   

There are different beliefs in the manner in which the human body can be publicly displayed. I happen to be one of those individuals who appreciate a beautiful female or a well-developed male body. However, I believe there are certain bodies that should be covered. If the person is an adult, and if the person chooses to display his or her body in full Monty; I choose to watch. In my world it is called entertainment.

I doubt if anyone would disagree with the statement that it takes a variety of foods to satisfy human hunger. The same is true concerning thirst. It is also true concerning the act of sexual gratification. Like it or not; agree or disagree; but there is something engraved in the human brain that says the grass is greener on the other side of sexual gratification, and humans strive for the search. Each year hundreds die in an attempt to achieve the ultimate climax.

For years I taught students that it is impossible to pass legislation that regulates morality. I believe it is no concern of government as to what occurs in the bedroom of two or more consenting adults. The only time government should have a role in the sex act is when under age individuals are involved, and when harm occurs to an unwilling participant. I believe laws will never be able to enforce morality. Government will never be able to place one policeman with each person 24-7. Somewhere down the line individuals must be trusted to discern that which is right from that which is wrong and live accordingly.

In one of my younger years I happen to be standing on a street corner in one of America’s major cities when I observed a person on his hands and knees in the middle of the street headed in my direction. This person had a chain around his neck and behind him, holding the chain was an adult male. The two individuals continued and for some strange reason stopped directly in front of me. The person on his hands and knees was wearing a leather dog muzzle, and had strips of black leather around his body that covered his vital parts; otherwise he was without clothes.  Around his neck was a choke collar that was connected to the chain. The middle-aged man holding the chain was shirtless, and wearing tight, black, leather pants.

At the time I knew nothing about the world of leather, or dominant sexual relations. Even though I was startled I wasn’t speechless. I immediately began asking questions.  The guy with the chain around his neck assured me of two things. First of all, that he was of age, that he was not some underage teenager serving as a slave to an adult master.  Secondly, he was participating in this act of his own free will. The person holding the chain never spoke a word, he just looked at me as if to say, if this was illegal do you think I would be out in the middle of the public showing it off.  As the two headed off down the street, I had to shake my head in near disbelief but remind myself, “This is none of my business, understand it or not; agree or disagree; it takes a variety of individuals to make the world go round.”