CONFESSION IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL

CONFESSION IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL 

   In the late 1930s I entered the world in a primitive environment where access to land and the knowledge of farming were the only tools necessary for financial survival.  Because Americans believe that every child should have the opportunity of an education, I was given a free bus ride to school and was taught by some of the best teachers who ever set foot inside a classroom.

   Other than school, the church became the center for my social activities. I was flooded with the conservative Christian doctrines that were mainstream in the Southern Bible Belt.

   I’m not sure when I first heard the word gay, but the pulpit provided a constant reminder that even a thought about homosexuality was sufficient to send a soul into an everlasting damnation of fire and brimstone. Nevertheless, as a teenager, I knew I was different, but I thought it was common among some youngsters and it was something I would outgrow.  So I stayed in close contact with the church and went through all the religious rituals that were necessary for the cleansing of the soul. I was sure if I prayed enough, and if my faith was strong enough, I would one day be touched by the Holy Spirit and changed into a straight man. Those prayers were never answered.

    Because America is the land of opportunity, I was able to work my way through college and I obtained several degrees with advanced studies in religion. However, the degree in education turned out to be the most valuable and the one that would set the destiny for my adult life. The proudest moment of my life was when I, as a teacher, was handed a textbook, some caulk, and an eraser, and was able to look directly into the smiling faces of the students in MY classroom. I continued that proud moment every day for 32 years.

   Even though I continued teaching, on weekends and during holidays, for thirty years, I owned and operated two music stores that specialized in retail sales of professional musical instruments.

   My first college degree was sociology, and from that I developed a need to experience different world cultures.  At the appropriate time, I sold the businesses, retired from teaching, and set out on a voyage to satisfy the desire to see how people in other parts of the world live.  

   The smiling faces of the people of Southeast Asia warmed my heart, so I settled in Thailand to temporality study the culture of the Thai people. For several years I have remained in Thailand, attempting to understand a society of people who pleasantly accept alternative lifestyles.

   To some, I am considered a successful teacher, to others I am known as a dedicated businessman, and still others ask --- why did I move to Thailand? Other than what I have previously stated, I was motivated to find a place where I could live as a free gay man without the threat of neighbors to do me harm or to destroy my home.  I was also motivated by the desire to live as a 1^st class citizen rather than a 2^nd or 3^rd class, because I know I am better than that.

   In Thailand I have written articles for a few English language newspapers and magazines. I have written and published a few short stories and a few novels. I write a blog that is read by a few English speaking people in a few countries around the world. During the day I continue to write as a free gay man. At night I enjoy dinner with my gay friends, and later I visit the many gay go-go bars that surround the high-rise condo where I live. For me, I doubt it will ever be better than this.

(Written by Dervis Clement Tippen)