Sunday, April 26, 2020



I am convinced that children can be taught to believe just about anything, particularly with the right teacher. The majority of children will believe what they have been taught, and in many cases will carry those teachings with them throughout their lives.  It is an amazing aspect of social intelligence that it is easier to teach hate rather than love. Why this is true is a question that has not been answered? However, it is a known fact that hate has never accomplished anything good? Hate is like a virus, its only purpose is to destroy. Yet, many parents delight in teaching their children to hate.

There are many false assumptions that come with hatred. For years Americans have been taught to hate based on the color of skin, and today thousands still believe it. From the beginning days of American history children were taught that the white race was superior to all other races and even with all the troubles this has caused, thousands still hold on to this false teaching.

The actions of millions of Americans both young and old prove that America’s educational system has failed. The proof is evident all across America that the ability to think has evaded the American classroom. It is easier to have someone else do the thinking or tell us what to think. A certain amount of energy is used in the process of thinking, and many Americans have become too lazy to think.

Probing deeper into the thinking process proves that people can be fooled into thinking that going to church is a good thing, but it is a fact, that today, many Christian churches have turned into instruments of evil. It is difficult to believe that many American preachers support the most corrupt president in the history of the United States. Any American who cannot see the evil in paying porn stars, making fun of handicap reporters, hiding income tax records, hiring the largest number of corrupt cabinet members in the history of America’s presidential cabinets, and telling numerous falsehoods, is a person who has a distorted mental disorder. 

* And adding fuel to the fire, if you believe what Donald Trump said,   that injecting disinfectants into your veins is a cure for Covid-19; the only place for you is a mental institution.  

When it comes to the subject of teaching, I had difficulty in accepting the religious teachings concerning sexuality. The hardest thing I ever had to do was to look in the mirror and admit that I am gay. The reason it was so hard was based upon teaching. I am a product of the Confederate Southern Bible belt, and the teachings of my youth were stemmed in the religious culture of the South. I attended church regularly and was otherwise known as a well adjusted red-blooded American boy. But when my teenage years approached adulthood questionable desires about sexuality caused concerns.

If I had been raised in a different culture in a different country, Thailand for example, the acceptance of my sexuality would have been   much easier to acknowledge. But because it had been pounded into my head that the act of homosexuality was the worse of all sins, it presented an emotional and mental strain upon my acceptance. Therefore, I did every thing possible to convince myself that I was not gay.  Perhaps Major Pete said it best, “If I could have cut it out with a knife, I would have done so, or if I could have taken a pill I would have swallowed it before you could hand me a glass of water.” It was a terrible burden to place upon a teenager, that natural desires from an unknown source were a first class ticket to hell.

It took several years of denial before I could admit to myself that I was gay, and therefore, I resorted to “a life in the closet.” All I ever needed was to find a place where I could live as an openly gay man.   “Coming out” was one of the best things I have ever done. It changed my entire life. It changed the way I walk, the way I think, and the way I hold my head.  It took away doubt and replaced it with confidence. Today, I am not Maya Angelou’s “Caged Bird” neither am I the “White Bird” sitting in a cage alone growing old.  But I am Van Zant’s “FREE BIRD.”  And this Bird you cannot change.”

Other than accepting my sexuality, Thailand is the best thing that has happened to me.  There is a reason that Thailand is called the “Land of the Smiling People.” And for those of us who live here we know that Thailand is the “peace loving nation of the world.” Today expatriates by the millions live in Thailand and we live here for a reason.  We are here because we see the beauty in all colors of skin. We are here because we recognize the dignity in all sexual orientations. We are here because we firmly respect people of all ethnic origins. We are here because we have learned to live free of hate and freedom is our anthem.  

My retirement could not be any better. I am a happy senior citizen accepting my age and my sexuality. All the fears I once had about growing old have dissipated and retirement has become a beautiful thing. For years I searched for happiness and when I found it, it is even greater than I imagined. I refuse to live again in a restricted society,   and even if the virus forces me to sit alone in my apartment, I find peace, happiness, and contentment, because I know I am a real person. No more secrets, no more closets, no more whispers, no more pretending, life is as real as it can be.
Now back to the subject at hand. There is no doubt that the countries where children are taught to love rather than to hate are becoming the best places on the face of the earth to live.  The citizens of the world are slowly but surely discovering this. A population explosion is occurring in some of the most remote places on the earth.  People are recognizing that living in peace is the right recipe for happiness.

Sunday, April 19, 2020



For several hours I have been sitting at the top of concrete steps that lead to the waters edge overlooking the ocean.  Small white-top waves beat rhythmic motions against the sands at the waters edge, and I am fixated on the rhythms.  If I look to my right, I see long stretches of sandy beaches. If I look straight ahead I see an orange sun surrounded by a series of colorful clouds creeping slowly downward in the Western skies. A sunset over the ocean, I witness, with colors of yellow, orange, and red, dancing on top of white-top waves. The beach is lined with active people, some are walking, some are jogging, and some are playing in the water’s edge, but there is an overall sense of happiness.

I have traveled halfway around the world and am sitting in the middle of strange people, in a strange land, speaking a strange language, I do not understand. Thoughts hammer away in my mind and I assure myself that this feeling of peace is for real, and I question the lack of homesickness. As the shadows of the evening creep forward, I take a few short steps and hop on a baht bus that takes me to my one-bedroom condo in the heart of the city of Pattaya.

Sitting alone in my condo, I ask myself the question, why have I chosen this city as the place to rest my weary bones at least for a few days? I don’t know the answer, but in my present mental state one place is just about as good as any other.  As the days pass I make my way in and out of the daytime and night-time business establishments and discover that Pattaya is an International City. I enjoy the friendly conversations with people from around the world, and politics seem to be on the minds of most English speaking people to which I am quick to add my opinions.

What I enjoy most about this city is the nightlife. Pattaya is an exciting city with a wide variety of night-time entertainment. When the lights come on, this once small fishing village is emerged with excitement. I elbow my way down the world famous “Walking Street,” and attempt to absorb the ambiance. It is like stepping into another world, where imaginations can run wild and adventure can be your only guide. I am reminded of an everyday Mardi Gras, on Bourdon Street, New Orleans, but this street offers a strange but unique adventure. My adventure continues through crowded streets and by some miraculous occurrence I end up in Boyz Town. For citizens of the world who are thrill seekers, Boyz Town, Pattaya, is where you should be. There is the electrifying, “Tina Turner” performance at the Copa, or the sexy boy show at Wild West Boys, or the singing sensation of El Duo at CafĂ© Royale. I quickly realize why Pattaya has earned the title of “THE PARADISE CITY BY THE SEA!”

*****THAT WAS THEN ***** THIS IS NOW! *****

What has happened to this beautiful city? It is disposed with the horrible name of “CORONAVIRUS.” What once was a city with flashing, bright, lights, filled with tourists from around the world is now a darkened, empty, walkway filled with gloom and despair. Hundreds who once made a living in the entertainment and service industries are now unemployed, homeless, hungry, and carrying signs, “MR. CAN YOU SPARE A DIME,” in Thai, of, course.

My problems are minimal compared with thousands who are seeking shelter and experiencing starvation. Yet, I am confronted with isolation and a serious problem of the preservation of life. I am confined to a one bedroom condo in which the walls are closing in. My excitement for the day is to walk outside, wearing a mask, to the parking lot just to check on my car. Yes, I have a car, but I do not drive. It is a new Nissan and I have to keep the battery charged.

Back in the condo, I turn on the flat screen and Elton is on. He is being interviewed by Anderson Cooper about his final “Yellow Brick Road Tour.” With the interview coming to an abrupt end, Elton, sparkling with glitz and glimmer, takes a seat at his million dollar one of a kind, Yamaha grand piano. His first song is “The Tiny Dancer,” and without any pause, immediately leads into “I’m Still Standing.” Elton has the unique ability to brighten any day and soon I am on my feet harmonizing with the words of my favorite song, “Daniel.”

“Daniel is traveling tonight on a plane
I can see the red tail lights heading for Spain
Oh, and I can see Daniel waving goodbye
God, it looks like Daniel must be the clouds in my eyes”

Elton continues with the words, “How wonderful the world is when you’re in the world.” As the memories roll in, I am reminded that no one can give a better tribute to a lover than Elton John.

There is no doubt that Thailand’s “paradise city by the sea” will bounce back. The glamorous tour buses will return and Pattaya will be greater than before. There is no virus big enough to bring a permanent halt to one of the world’s most visited cities. I have no greater pleasure than to know that I am a part of Thailand’s “smiling people” and not a day goes by that I do not give thanks to Thailand for providing me a home away from home.

Saturday, April 11, 2020



I have asked myself the question at least a hundred times why I cannot live the rest of my life outside the United States and let go of the political situation inside America. The only answer I know is I have a genuine interest in America’s future.  I believe the future generations of Americans have the right to live in a free democratic society. They have the right to the freedoms that were established by our forefathers, and the freedoms that millions of men and women have given their lives to protect.

I have a great concern for the millions of African Americans and Latino Americans who have endured years of injustices at the hands of white Americans. I shiver when I am confronted with the fact that I am a product of Southern White America. I am awakened in the middle of the night with the sounds of cracking whips. I hear the cries of African American boys who were castrated by groups of angry white men. I see visions of African American families being burned alive in their homes by mobs of vigilante whites. I have read the atrocious acts of Southern white plantation owners perpetrated on human slaves. I am reminded of the White Southern women who closed their doors and their ears to the cries of African American women who were raped, beaten, and separated from their children.  And now I see that same kind of women surround Donald Trump and support his evil deeds. I see a white American woman as she looks the world in the eyes through a TV camera with the words, “Donald Trump has never told a lie in his entire life.” America may survive the virus, but there are doubts that America will survive the blinding process that has dimmed the eyes of millions to accept the corruption in America’s government.     

America’s gay community has suffered right along with millions of other minorities. They have been denied civil rights and have been chastised for their sexual orientation.  I also have a genuine concern for the future generations of LGBTQ individuals. They have the right to live without verbal harassment, without religious condemnation, without the fear of physical abuse, and without being treated as 2nd or 3rd class citizens.

America is experiencing the aftermath of hate. In order for America to ever live up to her creed, “that all men are created equal,” Americans must go through a purification process ---- a cleansing of the hearts and minds that starts with the pulpit and ends in Washington DC.  The world has not forgotten “The Trail of Tears,” neither “The Selma Bridge” nor “the evening of April 4, 1968 at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, Tennessee.” Today, there are groups of dirty white men in the states of Alabama and Michigan, who are attempting, through the process of voter suppression, to return America to the days of White Supremacy. There are members of the Supreme Court who are not judging by the aspects of the law, but rather by political affiliation. On Tuesday, November 3, 2020, the future of America is in the hands of honest Americans who will fight the odds of Republican voter suppression and exercise the right to vote.     

It is disheartening to admit that there are members of my own family who not only believe the lies, but are worshiping the liar, Donald Trump. He is both a liar and a fake, and those are just a couple of the many degrading names I could use. It is a shame that Americans citizens have turned into pathetic examples of humanity, and have swallowed the Trump agenda, hook, line, and sinker.  They have become members of the Republican political cult; a cult that is doing more harm to America than any religious cult could ever dare to do. They have diminished the influence of American Christianity and removed America as the leader of the free world. 

I know a liar when I hear one, and I recognize a fake when I see one. I am not going to even take a sip from the poisonous cup of the Donald Trump cool-aid, but I am going to stand flat-footed and say to Trump supporters, your worship of the orange-faced spinnaker is as wrong as wrong can be.  You have brought America to the brink of collapse and now democracy is holding on by a mere thread. You are some of the most selfish people the world has ever known.  You have no concern about the kind of America you are leaving for your children and grandchildren. You are blinded by ignorance and have no desire to seek the truth. You are the worse generation of Americans.

A real human will admit to mistakes and will exhibit humility; otherwise he is not a human but rather a creature.