FOLLOW THE HAPPINESS TRAIL

FOLLOW THE HAPPINESS TRAIL

After several emotional and turbulent teenage and young adult years, and after considering several other professions, I finally decided that I wanted to be a teacher.  So with several college degrees already under my belt, I went back to the university and earned a degree in English and Social Studies Education. In the small community where I grew up teachers were highly respected and compared to the salaries of the average working class, they were well paid. I had not given much attention to the financial status of the teaching profession, but after receiving my first pay check, I had to devise a plan for part-time employment if I wanted to continue the teaching profession and attain my financial expectations.

I ended up teaching Civics in a Magnet School in Little Rock, Arkansas, and owning two retail music stores.  I did not have a degree in music, but I had an interest because my father was a musician. The retail music stores were a success but required long, hard, working hours, after school, on weekends, and holidays.

  

I was an adult, gay, school teacher in a deep Southern Bible Belt State, and it was my firm belief that I had to keep my gay life a secret.  Thus, I resorted to what was called “living in the closet.” Owning the music stores helped because they kept me so busy that I had little time to express my homosexual desires. In the wee hours of Saturday night I would secretly slip into a dark alley of a gay bar and find a way to express the otherwise suppressed desires of a gay man. Then I would hustle to church on Sunday morning to receive forgiveness for what I had been taught was a dirty, immoral, evil, act. Needless to say, this was an undesirable and unhappy way of life. Nevertheless, it was the life I lived for many years.

But I had a plan. My plan was to work, long, hard, hours and save as much money as possible, and when I had saved enough money I would go on a world-wide expedition looking for a place where I could live as a respectful, openly, gay, man.

In my mind I had paid my dues as a gay man living in a straight world, and I was determined to find something better. The stress of the retail businesses, the long hours required as a successful school teacher, and the fear of exposure, had taken a toll on my health. I had developed uncontrollable high blood pressure. The doctor’s advice was to get my house in order, because my life expectancy could come to an abrupt end at any time. I was on the verge of a nervous break down, and the emotional strain of too much work had placed a heavy burden on the aging process.

I had been called all the slur names of a gay man in the United States. I had been physically abused. I had been denied employment advancement because I was not a so-called family man.  I had received threats from neighbors, and I had lived in fear of being fired from the teaching profession. So the time finally came for me to start my adventure. I retired from teaching, sold the businesses and the house, and started my excursion.

Of all the adventures that I encountered, I recall one special Sunday afternoon, in a special place at a special time. I had decided to take a walk on what was called Beach Road. Between the noisy, busy, street and the ocean, was a wide, walkway shaded by beautiful palm trees that was ideal for an afternoon stroll. After walking several blocks I found a spot at the top of some concrete steps that lead to the waters edge. And there I sat for several hours watching the sunset slowly casting colorful shades on the ocean blue waters from across the Western skies.

I was several thousand miles from home surrounded by people I did not know, and yet I had a comfortable feeling. I was not lonely; I experienced no fear, and wondered why I was not homesick. For the first time in many years I had found contentment in a strange land, with strange people, speaking a strange language I did not understand.  I returned to my one bedroom rented condo in the heart of the city and on Monday morning was on the phone changing my airline ticket. I had decided to extend my stay in Thailand.

After a short time in Thailand I was offered a job writing for an English language newspaper which, for me, was a dream come true.  I had for many years a desire to write and was reminded of the encouragement given by my elementary teachers after reading some of my childhood stories. That job extended into another newspaper and on into a magazine. From there I started writing short stories and novels. At the present, I have written and published over 150 Op-Ed’s.

Some might refer to this as a success story, but as I tell young writers the success of any story is the ability of the storyteller. I realize this is not a success story because I did not tell the salacious details of the trips to Mexico or to Costa Rica. Also I purposefully alleviated the interesting details of the trips to Mardi Gras and the extravaganza weekends at Lake Tenkiller in Oklahoma. I did not live a boring life and this may be just a warm up to the secret life of a gay American schoolteacher.     

I made several mistakes in my younger years living in America.  For example, I started smoking marijuana back in the 70’s when it was a serious crime for simple possession. I am lucky that I did not get into trouble but for some unexplained reason I did not. I consider this very fortunate because legal problems would have messed up my entire life, and I would not have experienced the blissful years of retirement in Thailand. Today, medical marijuana is legal in most states of the United States and Thailand. I have applied for the health certificate.

The happiest years of my life have been the retirement years outside the USA.  I say this carefully because I was raised by a loving mother, who provided me with a foundation for success. Nevertheless, retirement has provided great improvements in my health. Today, my blood pressure is normal with ¼ of the medications I was taking in the states. My body has rejuvenated, and most of my strength has returned. There are no stress or anxiety attacks, and I am surrounded by great friends in a relaxed environment.  

However, I realize that a third world country is not for everyone and Thailand is not a utopia, but in my case, I needed to get away from a restricted society. I understand that everyone cannot leave their families, friends, and love ones, and move to another country, but it is amazing how many people are doing just that. One of the outstanding features about Pattaya; it is an International City. Every day I meet people from other countries, and I have developed friendships with people from around the world. Thailand is a respectful place for anyone to visit. For example, in 2018 Bangkok was the world’s most visited city for the fourth consecutive year. Also in 2018 the city of Pattaya was in the top 20 of the world’s most visited cities.