PART FIVE ---- THIS IS MY LIFE

PART FIVE ---- THIS IS MY LIFE

Even though I have received numerous requests to write a detailed description of the things I have witnessed, it is a story I have refused to tell. A detailed description of the things I have seen would be nothing more than a series of pornographic events that would be disgusting to most people.  Even though I have experienced many bizarre things in the world of homosexuality; I have learned to witness many, but participate in a few. I have always wanted my life to be a positive contribution. At the end of life’s journey I would like to say, because I lived, I helped to make the world a better place.  As I approach the twilight of my life, I have doubts that my contributions have achieved that goal.

My childhood was manipulated by a series of Confederate Southern Bible Belt teachings.  I must be honest; I did not have the courage to demolish the social prison that dominated my mindset. Even today, I cannot adequately describe the emotions I faced in accepting homosexuality. However, I do know that Biblical teachings have had a profound influence on my life and in my actions.

I was born with an inquiring mind and that inquiry has lead me into some strange places and to witness some strange events. I have played pool in a lesbian bar where a truck-driver-type female beat the hell out of a straight man with a pool cue for making a pass at the person she called “her lady.”  I have been on the second floor of a gay bar during the Mardi Gras celebration in the French Quarter, New Orleans. I have seen people engaging in sexual acts that involve just about any position known to mankind.  Even though I did not fully understand, I engaged in the thought, this is none of my business. I have learned that simply because I may not agree with certain actions, or I may not choose to participate in certain activities, it does not give me the right to prevent others from participating.

I am an “out of the closet” openly gay male but it is amazing the depth of the mindset concerning homosexuals that is rooted deep in my physic.  For example, I still cringe when I see two men kissing. I know that a kiss is just a kiss and it is an expression of love, but the teachings of the Bible still present an emotion of disgust. Nevertheless, I am capable of turning my head and saying to myself, “it’s none of my business.”  It has taken a while for me to confirm my commitment to “same-sex marriage.” Nevertheless, I respect love and I believe adults should have the right to love the person of their choice.   

There are different beliefs in the manner in which the human body can be publicly displayed. I happen to be one of those individuals who appreciate a beautiful female or a well-developed male body. However, I believe there are certain bodies that should be covered. If the person is an adult, and if the person chooses to display his or her body in full Monty; I choose to watch. In my world it is called entertainment.

I doubt if anyone would disagree with the statement that it takes a variety of foods to satisfy human hunger. The same is true concerning thirst. It is also true concerning the act of sexual gratification. Like it or not; agree or disagree; but there is something engraved in the human brain that says the grass is greener on the other side of sexual gratification, and humans strive for the search. Each year hundreds die in an attempt to achieve the ultimate climax.

For years I taught students that it is impossible to pass legislation that regulates morality. I believe it is no concern of government as to what occurs in the bedroom of two or more consenting adults. The only time government should have a role in the sex act is when under age individuals are involved, and when harm occurs to an unwilling participant. I believe laws will never be able to enforce morality. Government will never be able to place one policeman with each person 24-7. Somewhere down the line individuals must be trusted to discern that which is right from that which is wrong and live accordingly.

In one of my younger years I happen to be standing on a street corner in one of America’s major cities when I observed a person on his hands and knees in the middle of the street headed in my direction. This person had a chain around his neck and behind him, holding the chain was an adult male. The two individuals continued and for some strange reason stopped directly in front of me. The person on his hands and knees was wearing a leather dog muzzle, and had strips of black leather around his body that covered his vital parts; otherwise he was without clothes.  Around his neck was a choke collar that was connected to the chain. The middle-aged man holding the chain was shirtless, and wearing tight, black, leather pants.

At the time I knew nothing about the world of leather, or dominant sexual relations. Even though I was startled I wasn’t speechless. I immediately began asking questions.  The guy with the chain around his neck assured me of two things. First of all, that he was of age, that he was not some underage teenager serving as a slave to an adult master.  Secondly, he was participating in this act of his own free will. The person holding the chain never spoke a word, he just looked at me as if to say, if this was illegal do you think I would be out in the middle of the public showing it off.  As the two headed off down the street, I had to shake my head in near disbelief but remind myself, “This is none of my business, understand it or not; agree or disagree; it takes a variety of individuals to make the world go round.”

PART FOUR ---- THIS IS MY LIFE

PART FOUR ---THIS IS MY LIFE

I want to make this perfectly clear I do not receive any pleasure in destroying the character of others. On the other hand, I receive no pleasure in remaining silent while others attempt to destroy mine. It was only when I began to speak openly concerning the dishonesty of the Donald Trump administration, that a small group of Trump supporters began a character assassination on the messenger. The oldest defense mechanism in history to defend the guilty is to destroy the character of the messenger.

Trump supporters have attempted to destroy my character in an attempt to keep opposing opinions from surfacing. I have been asked by numerous individuals why I have remained silent while other shady characters have used lies in an attempt to silence me.  The time has come that I will answer that question. Here is where I put the shoe on the other foot.

I will state categorically some of the facts that I know to be true concerning individuals who have been involved in attempting to destroy my integrity.  One of these individuals has an arrest record a mile long, yet he has the audacity to try to destroy the character of someone else.  He is a man who has spent a lifetime impregnating young girls, and never providing financial support for any of the children. He is a man who has been arrested for male prostitution in a gay park, but now spends time spreading lies in an attempt to destroy the morality of other gay individuals.

It is true that in an attempt to keep my sexuality in the closet I discovered some very shady characters attempting to extort money from gay men. There were several attempts made to expose my sexuality to the leadership of the teaching profession, if I did not provide certain individuals with large amounts of money. Each time I flatly refused and called their bluff!  Even though it caused many sleepless nights, it worked. I completed my profession with full retirement and a spotless record. 

I would now like to say to those members of my family who have attempted to belittle my status as a respectable human, I am proud to say a different blood flows through my veins.  I do not support racists, rapists, or liars.  Your support of the likes of Donald Trump and “Moscow Mitch” has created a lifetime of differences that I doubt will ever heal.  Don’t you ever expect me to support a political party or the leadership of a political party who voted to deny 500,000 school children one free meal? I was a school teacher for many years, and I have experienced hungry children who depended on the one free meal at school, as their only meal for the day.  Yes, I am PROUD to say a different blood flows through my veins.

Let me continue; your support for the inhumane conditions of children put in cages at the Southern border disgusts me to the lowest pits of my stomach.  Of course, you won’t read this because when narrow minds are confronted with the truth, all they can do is ignore it. You have become a member of a political cult that will be recorded in history as one of the worse things that has happened to America.      

In my lifetime there is no truer example of “birds of a feather flocking together” than the supporters of the most corrupt president in the history of the United States. It is dangerous to allow someone else to think for us. It is hazardous to depend upon others to define truth.  It is a disgrace to be a human and be unable to discern between that which is right from that which is wrong. 

I want to make my position perfectly clear, when I see members of my race confronting people of color with racial slurs and acts of prejudice it widens the gap that separates us. I don’t know exactly what the Bible has to say about this, but I know it is wrong! I am proud to be a Southern gay man who sees beauty in all skin colors. I am grateful that I realize the importance of diversity and am honored to be a part of a diverse universe.  I would like to assure all Christians that hell is no longer my destiny, and it is the strength provided to me by my creator that I am able to fulfill my purpose on earth.

PART THREE --- THIS IS MY LIFE

PART THREE---THIS IS MY LIFE

It was a playhouse that could only come from the imagination of a preschooler who had no knowledge of television, telephones, or electricity. It was a kid playing in the white sands shaded by the sweet gum trees. A make-belief farm with plenty of land, a nice house, and tooth pick fence posts connected with white cotton string.  Many animals carved from sweet gum balls and pine cones.  A hand-made toy truck, complete with wooden wheels, that was used for transportation to the make-belief market. Money grew on trees. A farm that consisted of well cultivated rows of blades of green grass, that represented stalks of corn. It was a well designed farm complete with a farm pond and pieces of a broken mirror used to symbolize water, with hand-carved ducks swimming all in a row. I lived the life of a Louisiana farm boy who had little knowledge of the outside world. Even though I lived in a not so fancy house, it was a home filled with unconditional love.  

I was enchanted by the new world that opened when I was bused off to school. I wasn’t so sure about this thing called education; but I was sure I wanted more. Soon I was high school graduate, with a college degree, and a Southern gay man, who realized at an early age that struggles would not be easy. I was taught that my sexual orientation was an abomination to God, and that hell was my destiny.  I had no other choice, at the time, but to believe my fate.

After several years of teaching high school English, I settled on a job teaching Civics in a Magnet School in Little Rock, Arkansas. This job provided many opportunities, but the main objective was to satisfy my interest in politics. To make the job more interesting I had the unique experience to be a teacher in a school where Bill and Hillary Clinton were parents. I learned to appreciate both of them as dedicated parents with interests that expanded into all aspects of public education.

The decision to continue teaching until I qualified for retirement was one of the best decisions I ever made. When you’ve been a poor man most of your life, and you finally have enough money to pursue your dreams; life takes on a complete different meaning. I was never satisfied with my life in the closet, yet I feared being fired. Nevertheless, I learned to fill the days with so much work that I had little time to think about sexual desires.

Moving outside the USA gave me a second chance on life. I have always had an interest in the people of the world, and I had doubts concerning the way social problems were approached in the USA. I made the decision late in life to visit other countries, and to be more than just a tourist. It was important to get to know the people, see how they lived, and if possible how they think.  What really happened in the process, I became endeared to Eastern culture, and it made a dramatic change in my way of thinking. The policy of acceptance is woven deep into the Buddhists religion and this was helpful in formulating a favorable opinion of me and others like me.       

Since I started on this journey and began expressing my opinions in a writer’s blog, I have been accused of many things. One thing is for certain, I do not hate America. I have learned that there are limited opportunities for individuals in other countries, and that knowledge has given me a greater appreciation of America. There is no doubt that I am where I am today, because I was born in the land of opportunity.

I always had opinions concerning elected officials, but none greater than Donald Trump. I do not believe that evil deeds can be ignored by religion, especially Christianity. I believe that Christians should endorse honesty and defy liars. I believe that America democracy is experiencing a great test, and I hope when this test is over, that democracy will be declared the undisputed winner.  

PART TWO --- THIS IS MY LIFE

PART TWO---THIS IS MY LIFE

I started writing when I was in elementary school. When I was 10 years old I wrote a love story that was entitled, “AN UPSTAIRS AFFAIR.” It was written on plain notebook paper with pencil, and placed in the mail. It was turned down by several romance magazines that were popular at that time. Somewhere it got lost in the shuffle! In the sixth grade I wrote a children’s story about the marriage between a cat and a mouse. It was an adventure about the three offspring’s that were called karats. My sixth grade teacher kept the story and was planning to have it published. During the summer she experienced a terrible death in her family; she moved away, with my story, and I never heard from her again. I tried several times to rewrite the story but to no avail.

After that time, I became interested in high school studies and did very little writing.  After high school I became occupied trying to maintain good grades in college and work at the same time.  My writing career suffered because it was at that time I realized I was not the so-called red-blooded American boy that society expected me to be. I was faced with maintaining good grades in college, working a full-time job, and dealing with, what was thought to be at the time, an abnormal sexual desire.

After college, in an attempt to solve the problem, I enrolled in the seminary where I took advanced studies in the Bible. Finally, after coming to the conclusion that God was not going to solve my problem, I went back to the university and earned a degree in education. I enjoyed teaching school, but I had to be careful to make sure that my sex life was not openly revealed.  It was well known that gay school teachers could be fired.

I soon realized that teaching school was not going to provide the financial success I desired. So I started a part-time job in the retail sales of musical instruments. The business grew into much more than I anticipated, and I stayed with it. For thirty-two years I taught school, and with the help of others, I owned and operated two retail music stores.

However, I never lost my desire to write. At first, I wrote and published what were called, “A Common Thought for the Common Man,” which were a series of simple statements that provided food for thought. An example, “The skeletons in your closet will rattle.”  Several of these common thoughts were published in local newspapers.

When I finally made what I thought was enough money to provide for a respectable retirement, I left teaching, sold the businesses, and started on a journey. My journey led me to Thailand where I was offered a job writing for an English language newspaper. Soon I was writing for another newspaper and then on to a magazine. My life had taken a big turn and that turn was to happiness. While all of this was taking place, I found the love of my life and then things really came together.

It was then that I started writing and publishing short stories. They are not that great, but one or two of them have been acclaimed to be interesting.  To name a few, “Grandma and the Billy Goat” – “Show Down on Bus Route # 3” -- and “Revival Time,” have been read by many people and reported to be above average and exciting. They are now part of the Southern Humor Series.

As the saying goes, if you want people to read your book, write a better book. My desire is to write a book that will be so well written and interesting, readers will find joy in reading. My recent publication is entitled, “Welcome to the Door --- This One Swings Both Ways.” It is recommended reading for 18 year old and older. I am also writing Opinion Editorials; which are called Op. ED.’s. They are published on the internet in a writer’s blog entitled, WORDSFROMMRD.COM. My Op. ED.’s are read by English speaking people in several countries around the world including the U.S.A.

I have been asked several times what I think about the members of my family who refuse to read any of my books. My answer is, first of all, I consecrate on those who do read, and there are many. Second, I listen to the whisper of a divine voice that tells me there will come a time when great, great, generations, or even great, great, great,  generations will seek to read the materials of one of those who set the foundation for the Tippen legacy.   

One of these days I just might stumble upon a short story, a novel, a poem, or an Op. Ed., that will be read by millions. I have already achieved some fairly significant numbers, but my ultimate goal is one million. Out of a population of 7.2 billion, one million is not an unreasonable goal.  Think seriously for just a moment about the title of my resent novel --- WELCOME TO THE DOOR—THIS ONE SWINGS BOTH WAYS. This book involves some sadness, much more happiness, and a great deal of excitement. So, regardless of what you read, do yourself a favor and continue reading.

It has been said that people will never get tired of a good love story. I have been told by numerous individuals that THE MAMA MILLER LOVE STORY is a really good story.  Most people take their marriage vows serious especially the words “in sickness and in health.” This story describes the lifetime devotion of a man whose life was an example of unconditional love. This love story is published with Amazom.com. and is still in print and can be purchased through Amazon.com website. 

PART ONE --- THIS IS MY LIFE

PART ONE --- THIS IS MY LIFE

A gay Louisiana teenager in the heart of the Bible Belt presented an outside appearance of stability but inside was a disturbed and confused young boy. As most young LGBTQ individuals, I gave being gay one big fight. I tried everything known to mankind to change my sexuality, but it all failed. At first, I tried to convince myself that I was not gay, that it was just a period in life that every boy goes through, and that it would change with time. I tried relationships with the opposite sex, but they all proved to be unsuccessful. 

Frustrated and bewildered, my last resort was religion!  After four years of college, I enrolled in a seminary and took advanced studies in the Bible. Religion was very serious because I believed if I followed the straight and narrow and if I prayed enough, one day God would touch me with his magical wand and change me into a straight man. But for me that did not happen!

After years at the seminary, I went back to the university and earned a degree in English and Social Studies Education. At the beginning of my teaching career I was given a job teaching English in an all black high school. It was a time when students taught the teacher more than the teacher taught the students. The most beneficial factor in preparing for a diverse society came at the hands of black students.  My experiences with African American students provided the framework for success in an integrated public school system.

My job teaching school was interesting and rewarding. During those years many students, both black and white, came to me with sexual problems because there was no place else to go.  Many of these were very troubled students with sexual desires they did not understand. From my own experiences, I could have helped these students much more than I did, but for 32 years I lived in fear of being fired if my sexuality was exposed.  As I look back, I should have said the heck with the job and provided those students with the counseling they really needed. It is a shame that the dynamic of fear prevents many gay teachers from doing more to help students. For me, I live with names and regrets still today of students who took their own lives.

Teenagers are faced with many emotional problems and when sexual orientation is added, it becomes more than they can handle.  Students are not getting the proper help they need, because schools are not equipped to handle teenage sexual problems. Therefore, without proper counseling hundreds of teenagers take their own lives each year. This is a problem that can and should be prevented.

Christianity and Islam religions have made a horror story out of being gay, where there is no horror story! It is an absolute fact that religious teachings are the primary cause of teenage suicides. It is a pathetic situation that so-called Christians go around patting themselves on the back for what they consider to be upholding Biblical teachings. However, there are no Christians who are 100% in accordance with all Biblical teachings. But yet, they cherry pick the doctrines that cause the voluntary deaths of hundreds of teenagers each year.  

Sexual orientation is established at conception and the individual has no choice in the matter. For an uninformed preacher to stand in a pulpit and declare death to all LGBTQ individuals is the most ignorant thing any person can do in a civilized society. In fact, primitive societies practiced better ways in the acceptance of different sexual orientations. America should be a progressive society and the progress of acceptance should be moving at a much faster pace.

However, some progress has been made even though the Trump administration is trying to backtrack. I wish I could say there would never be another homeless teenager or another teenage suicide caused by sexual orientation, but I fear that will not be the case. Even though the road ahead may be better, there is still a long way to go. Too many young people have died for reasons that could have been prevented and too many adults have died in shame.

Moving outside the United States strengthened my gay life, and I am blessed to have the opportunity of living with millions of others who are LGBTQ. They have given me the strength and courage to be proud of the person I am. We are a mixed society of all races and all sexual orientations, and we get along extremely well with each other. I have no desire to live again in a situation where I am treated as a second or third class citizen.

PART TEN---NO LONGER...HOLD MY TONGUE

PART TEN --- NO LONGER…HOLD MY TONGUE

*****NO COMMON THOUGHT*****

This reaches far above my practice of commonality. So the boss demands loyalty. When loyalty reaches deep into the soul of man and separates that which is wrong from that which is right, and adheres to the wrong, it is no longer loyalty but obedience.  Obedience is an animalistic characteristic and once obeyed removes individuals from the human race and into the realm of programmed automation. When a human surrenders to that which is wrong strictly for the sake of loyalty, he has placed a monetary value on his soul which is the death of humanity and the birth of an android. There is no honor in obedience strictly for the sake of appealing to the desires of another. 

This is exactly what is happening in America’s political scene.  Political operatives have become a group of obedient liars who have sacrificed their humanity in order to protect the agenda of a political party.  They have chosen to remove themselves from the class of humans and into a class of robots.

It is difficult to be a member of the human race and not be totally disgusted with the image of the so-called, “obedient man.” One of the worse mistakes in history is to allow children to witness, “Fathers without backbones.” To be nothing more than a “yes man” is the lowest level of civilization known to mankind.  Push my button and I will respond.  Charge my battery and I will act.  Turn my crank and I will salute. Tell me what to say, and I will say it, are all acts performed by those who do not deserve the title of human. Engage in my nausea! 

Some of the things that are happening in America today are abhorrent to the human race. A cancer has invaded the White House.  Humans are treating other humans like they are animals in obedience to a criminal cartel leader. The conditions of children in cages, sleeping on concrete floors, with no soap, clean drinking water, or tooth brushes, are as inhumane as it gets, and yet there is no real outcry from the so-called Christian community.  

Our forefathers warned us about the loophole in a democratic form of government, and the loophole is the opportunity for dishonest individuals to gain control.  Democracy is a form of government meant to be controlled by honest individuals, and when that is true, democracy is the greatest form of government known to mankind. But when dishonest people gain control, democracy can be one of the worse forms of government. It is sad to say that the latter is what has happened in the U.S.A. today.  If these conditions continue there is only one truth to be said, democracy has failed!

 

PART NINE---NO LONGER ...HOLD MY TONGUE

PART NINE---NO LONGER…HOLD MY TONGUE

*****A FLY ON THE WALL*****

Anytime I allow my mind the freedom to wander it heads directly to the White House. I take an inconspicuous position as a fly on the wall.  Inside there is the appearance of a nest of bees, with many hurried people going, without the knowledge of where they are going. I listen to a dialogue that is harsh and demanding, and has the absence of pleasantries. The entire place has the appearance of a disheveled work place where pleasing the boss is the most important item on the agenda.  In order to please the big man secrets are hidden, and the fear that surrounds the secrets creates the environment of mistrust.

Upstairs nighttime is even worst. Misery stalks the floor. This is the same floor where men of great virtue have walked before, but this walking statue knows he cannot fill those shoes. In the hours past midnight a troubled character paces the floor unable to sleep. Double troubles play games in his head. His definition of happiness has failed, and his plan to rule the greatest nation on earth is unraveling before him. The great wall he once “conceived” is closing in, and instead of keeping immigrants out, he is trying to keep supporters in.   

The beginning stage of the realization that his con artistry is about to be revealed has developed into a dangerous situation. Money, power, greed, and porn stars, have failed him. His miscalculations of human nature have all gone wrong! He failed to realize that people who cling to the powerful have the same desire for power, and when the opportunity is available they will act. His mind searches names for loyalty, but loyalty cannot be found.  Once again his definition of loyalty failed, because when loyalty becomes a one man affair all con artists are in danger. Therefore, this is a man of great power, but a man who out of control. 

A temper tantrum erupts; the fly is swatted but the fly dodges. A voice rises and the people tremble. Will this be the death of the king?  

“Call the doctor; call the nurse!

This man’s condition must be reversed.

The ailing man stumbles and hits the floor.

He points to the mantel above the door.

and the raven croaked, NEVERMORE!”